What’s on Your Playlist for Your Mental Health?

Today I want to start off with an exercise. I am going to list some basic emotions below and want you to think about what song comes to mind when you think of each one.

Scared

Happy

Heartbroken

Excited

Angry

Did certain songs come to your mind right away? Were there emotions that stumped you? When thinking about the song, did you feel the emotions in real time too? Music is amazing in that way-it can take us right back to the memories as if it’s happening for the first time.

Working in the areas of trauma, grief, and attachment-I am often supporting people through unimaginable and indescribable life experiences. Due to the nature of the experiences, the emotions attached to them are often hard to find words to describe them. Somehow though, music can fill that gap. That gap between knowing with your whole body how you feel but at the same time knowing the words available fall short to truly paint the picture.

Music not only helps us feel connected to our emotions, but it can help us to regulate them too. Research on music therapy has shown that music can help with depression, anxiety, and trauma symptoms. Music can also make us feel closer to ourselves and to others. Have you ever been in a room full of people and a song comes on and everyone knows the words? Music helps us access our emotions, regulate them, and to not feel alone in them.

That being said, I think it’s often overlooked or missed as a coping mechanism. Music interacts with our nervous system, impacting our breath pattern and even heart rate. When we listen to music mindfully, or with our full attention-these changes can be observed. Listening to music actively or mindfully (this means really really paying attention to the words, beat, instruments, and also your body’s reaction) supports regulation of the nervous system.

It’s also important to note that some music (even the music we say is our favorite) can be activating to our nervous system- perpetuating moods like anger/irritability. This is where you come in as the expert as the dj to your own playlist. The better we know our mental health and our body’s reaction to music- the better we can select which tracks we should hear depending on our emotional state.

What does today’s message mean? Music is a powerful tool to support our mental health. Music influences the nervous system in both regulating and dysregulating ways. To best use it as a coping mechanism, we benefit from knowing ourselves, our emotions, and our nervous system. And finally, taking the time to truly mindfully listen to music is different from being autopilot. The more we can attune to the music, the more we can also attune to our body and how it responds to what we listen to.

In addition to the exercise above, here are some questions to support you building the playlist for your mental health.

What emotions are tied to the music I most frequently listen to?

How do I feel after I listen to the music I most frequently listen to?

Do I tend to listen to music when in certain moods and not others? If so, what do I think contributes to me listening to music.

Where are areas of my life/routine that I could incorporate listening to music mindfully?

Be mindful, lead with love, and don’t forget to listen.

Dr. C

Being Vulnerable Safely is Good for Your Health

What comes to mind when you think of the word vulnerable? If you were asked to describe it, what words would you choose? A quick google search produces the following Oxford result for the term, “the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.” What sticks out to me are two words. Before I tell you my two; what two words stick out for you?

Did you also choose exposed and attacked?

 Our relationship to vulnerability directly impacts our mental and physical health, our relationships with others, and perhaps most importantly, our relationship to ourselves. Depending on our attachment experiences, being vulnerable may or may not be a safe affective state to experience. If our prior experiences have taught our nervous system it is not safe to be vulnerable, we will come up with alternative strategies that feel “safer.” I put safer in quotations because these strategies trick us in the moment and often come at a cost overtime.

Strategies are adopted by our nervous system as a means of protection. Our nervous system works hard to keep us “safe,” even if the strategy comes at a cost. A common strategy to avoid vulnerability is emotional suppression. Emotional suppression is a tricky strategy because while it can be effective, it does come with consequences when utilized as the only way to regulate emotions. Emotional suppression is conscious, meaning we make the decision to not feel the emotions at hand. Rather than choosing to feel the emotion, because it has been deemed unsafe by the nervous system, the individual does not acknowledge, accept, or process the emotions. While this works in the moment to offer a perception of relief and maintaining safety, there are scientifically documented consequences to long-term emotional suppression. Higher rates of anxiety and depression, as well as heart disease and autoimmune conditions are just a few on the list. So, while it may be scary to feel our emotions, it is also imperative to our mental and physical well-being.

Today I offer an invitation to reflect on your own relationship with vulnerability. I encourage you to think about your influential relationships throughout your life and what contributed to the level of safety you feel in your vulnerability. As always, I’ve provided a few prompts to support you in this exercise.

What does vulnerability feel like for me?

Who in my life am I able to be vulnerable with?

What relationships influenced my relationship with vulnerability?

Are there emotions I suppress more than others?

Be mindful, lead with love, and don’t forget to listen.

Dr. C