Do you have a relationship with your mental health?
As a clinical psychologist, I can appreciate how the internet/social media has aided in increasing awareness and knowledge of mental health. With a quick search, you can learn about symptoms, diagnoses, and treatment plans for any mental health condition. While this is great, it isn’t sufficient and often gets in the way of what is most important in my opinion.
And what is my opinion exactly? That- understanding, identifying, and labeling how we feel, think, and behave is only a part of taking care of our mental health. Another part, (which I am biased to believe is the most important part); is establishing a relationship with our mental health. Pause here-have you ever asked yourself that question? “What is my relationship with my mental health?”
In the midst of information overload, I often see high levels of intellectualization of mental health content and deficits in the development of a personalized relationship. Clients, people in my personal life, as well as myself (yes, me too- spoiler-a PhD does not make your void of being a human) can fall into this trap. We can have so many facts and terms regarding mental health and still carry very high levels of avoidance and suppression with our emotions. It’s one thing to rattle off diagnoses and symptoms, it’s a whole other thing to know them for yourself intimately.
My background is rooted strongly in attachment. I fiercely believe that our mental health is a direct reflection of the relationships in our lives, including; our relationship with others and our relationship with ourself. Part of that relationship with the self-is the relationship we each have with our emotions. Our attachments from childhood often are the blueprint for this relationship. How we were responded to by our caregivers is the very data our nervous system uses to learn overtime how we respond to ourself. This is fascinating and at the same time can be overwhelming to untangle.
Back to the question at hand: “Do you have a relationship with your mental health?” Maybe, maybe not. Either way-I invite you to engage in a reflective exercise (come on, give it a try). Think about the range of emotions we can experience and pick a few (perhaps anger, sadness, fear, and embarrassment).
Spend some time with each one and reflect on these questions:
What do I feel when this emotion comes up?
How do I respond to this emotion?
Is this an emotion I suppress?
How does this emotion make me feel about myself?
Be mindful, lead with love, & don’t forget to listen.
Dr. Cunningham
